Giving Reactive Dogs Choices: The Trust-Building Magic Behind Empowered Dogs

When you live with a reactive dog, it can feel like you're walking a tightrope—always anticipating what might set them off next. You become hypervigilant, micromanaging every interaction in an effort to prevent an outburst. And while it comes from a place of love and protection, constantly controlling your dog’s every move actually makes things harder for both of you.

Here’s the thing: dogs who struggle with reactivity can feel like the world is unpredictable and overwhelming. They don’t feel safe and they definitely don’t feel in control. That’s where giving them more choices—yes, actual choices—can be a total game-changer.

Why Choice Matters for Reactive Dogs

Imagine you’re terrified of spiders and someone keeps pushing you toward one saying, “It’s fine, it’s tiny, just get used to it.” That’s essentially what we’re doing when we force our dogs into situations they’re not ready for. But what if you were given the option to back away and observe that spider from a safe distance? You’d probably feel less anxious and more in control. The same goes for your dog.

When you give reactive dogs choices—like whether or not to approach something scary, whether to walk on the grass instead of the sidewalk, or even the choice to say “no thanks” to a cue—they start to trust you more. They learn that you’re listening. They begin to believe the world isn’t just happening to them—they have some say in how they interact with it.

And that, my friend, builds confidence.

What Giving Choice Looks Like

Giving choices doesn’t mean letting your dog run wild or say “no” to everything. It’s about setting up structured opportunities for them to have agency. Here are a few examples:

• Sniffari Walks: Let your dog choose the direction of your walk, what they want to sniff (within reason) and when they want to take breaks. This can be hugely calming and confidence-boosting.

  
  

• Consent-Based Handling: Use cooperative care techniques where your dog can opt in or out of being touched or groomed.

  
  

• Choice in Training: Offer multiple ways to complete a task and let your dog pick what feels best (e.g., sniffing or focusing on you when a trigger passes).

  
  

• Opt-Out Opportunities: Teach a default “walk away” behavior for when your dog sees something overwhelming so they don't feel trapped into making a poor decision.

  
  

The Ripple Effect

Once dogs realize they have some control, their whole body language begins to shift. You might notice fewer outbursts, more checking in with you, and an overall sense of calm starting to emerge. That’s because choice reduces stress. And a dog who’s less stressed is a dog who’s more capable of learning, connecting, and coping with life’s triggers.

Bottom Line

Giving your reactive dog more choices is one of the most compassionate and empowering things you can do. It builds trust, nurtures confidence, and helps reduce reactivity—not by suppressing behavior, but by transforming how your dog experiences the world.

And if you ask me, that’s what humane, effective training is all about.

Check out my free course on creating calm - for yourself and your reactive dog - during walks.