Intelligent Disobedience: Oxymoron or High-Level Communication?

"He's so stubborn." 

"She knows what I said, she's just ignoring me." 

"Why won’t he just listen?"

Sound familiar?

Traditionally, dog parents have been conditioned to think obedience is the holy grail of training—that a “good dog” is one who does what they’re told, when they’re told, without hesitation.

But here’s a spicy little truth: sometimes, the best thing your dog can do is not obey you.

Welcome to the world of intelligent disobedience—and no, it’s not an oxymoron. It’s actually a sign of deep trust, confidence, and a rock-solid communication channel between you and your dog.

What Is Intelligent Disobedience?

Originally coined in the world of guide dogs, "intelligent disobedience" describes when a dog intentionally disobeys a request because following it would be unsafe. Imagine someone telling their dog to cross the street, but a car is coming. A trained guide dog will refuse to move forward. That refusal isn't a behavior problem—it’s a life-saving skill.

Now, most of our companion dogs aren't navigating crosswalks for us, but the principle still applies. A dog choosing not to comply isn’t always being “naughty”—they might be making a judgment call based on their own experience, safety, or comfort level.

What Intelligent Disobedience Looks Like in Everyday Life

Let’s say your reactive dog sees another dog across the street and you ask them to “heel” so you can quickly pass by. You've been working on this behavior so you fully expect your dog to start walking at your hip focused on moving forward.

Instead, your dog stops short, veers away or any number of other options. That’s not your dog being disobedient or stubborn—it's strong communication. Your dog is saying, “I can't do what you ask because I’m not okay right now.” The action your dog takes instead of "heeling" in this case, may be helping them regulate their stress or avoid a meltdown.

It's also entirely possible your dog is too upset at the presence of the other dog to focus on what you've asked them to do. This is less intelligent disobedience and more being incapacitated by their feelings. Either way, your dog's behavior let's you know something serious is going on and the best thing for you to do is adjust your own behavior to support your dog.

That may mean abandoning your desire for them to heel in favor of turning away as they've asked you to do. Or, since you know "heel" is new to your dog, giving it up in favor of something you know your dog knows well like a quick turn and retreat. The point is, in a tense situation when your dog tells you what they are and are not comfortable with in that moment, listen to them! It builds trust while getting both of you to a place of calm.

I once asked Shadow Dawn to lay down at my feet in the vet's waiting room. Instead, she climbed into my lap and held onto me like a baby. Shadow Dawn was afraid and found comfort in me holding her when she wouldn't have felt comforted by laying by my feet. Since all I really wanted was for her not to wander around, sitting in my lap was just as good as laying on the floor, better really as it comforted my girl.

If you've been taught to correct your dog whenever they "disobey," try being curious about why they are doing it instead. Then ask yourself if what your dog is asking for is actually a better idea! This is a great way to build trust between you and your dog which helps build confidence and decrease reactive behavior.

Why It Matters

Dogs aren’t robots. They’re thinking, feeling beings with their own perceptions, preferences, and comfort zones. The more we allow room for two-way communication, the better we can support them—and the more they’ll trust us to lead when it really counts. The more your dog trusts you, the more confident they become.

Ironically, the dogs most likely to practice intelligent disobedience are usually the ones who are most well-trained. They know what the cue means. They’ve performed it a hundred times. But in that moment, they’re prioritizing safety or emotional regulation over blind compliance. That’s not defiance. That’s wisdom. Well-trained dogs are better able to communicate with you and have more confidence. And confidence is the opposite of anxiety. That's one of the reasons I stress confidence building when training reactive dogs.

The Takeaway

Instead of viewing disobedience as a failure, start asking yourself:

“What might my dog be trying to tell me right now?”

You might just discover that your dog isn’t blowing you off—they’re giving you a gift. A chance to listen. A chance to understand. A chance to build a deeper, more respectful partnership.

And if you ask me? That’s the true point of dog training.

Want to get started helping your dog express themselves better on walks? A great first step is my free course Peaceful Walks Start Here:A Free Course for Pawrents of Reactive/Fearful Dogs